Notes from a long haul flight
On long haul flights in cattle class why is it that…
- People go to sleep after lunch is served on daytime flights? It’s 3pm and everyone around me are snoring their heads off. Most of them can’t have been awake for more than nine hours. I wonder if they nod off at their desks after lunch on a typical work day.
- Fellow passengers (usually male) wait until they get on the plane to strip off most of their clothes, empty their pockets or search through their carry-on bag for something they probably packed in their checked luggage.
- These passengers invariably sit near the front of the plane so they manage to hold everyone up as they block the aisles looking for stuff that they should have.
- The person sitting in the window seat next to you is usually one of the last to board and almost always has a weak bladder.
- The passenger who waits until the boarding queue is really long, manages to push their way in near the front and for some reason always has a problem with their boarding pass or passport which holds everyone else up.
- When you go to put your bag in the overhead locker the one allocated for your seat is full with other people’s excessive hand luggage.
- The rules about hand luggage size and number only apply to you and not to your fellow passengers.
- People wait until they’re the next to be screened by security before they empty their pockets (all fifteen of them), remember to remove their laptop from the case and still manage to set off the alert warnings when they eventually walk through. Again it’s usually a male thing – sorry guys.
- I always get in the slowest immigration queue with the largest number of illegal aliens/asylum seekers or just people with lots of problems. It doesn’t matter which queue I choose it always happens to me.
- Just as I’m about to be sent to the next available counter someone with special needs appears out of nowhere and gets priority over me.
- My suitcase is the one that falls off the baggage truck and either gets driven over or left on the tarmac for hours, is on top of the pile when it rains during unloading, or manages to mysteriously get dents in every corner between destinations.
- They run out of my food preference just as the trolley reaches me.
- They stop serving food just as they reach me due to turbulence.
- The people who seem to be queuing for the toilets are actually just having a wee leg stretch and chat to their fellow passengers in front of the toilets and by the time I figure they’re not actually queuing the seat-belt sign comes on and we have to return to our seats because of turbulence or in preparation for landing.
Am I alone in these experiences? Do you have any other pet peeves to add?